Smirking From Home

Turning ideas into words.

I’m a Celebrity, Vote me in Here.

At the current rate of going, we should not be surprised if Orville the Duck puts himself forward for election in May. It’s quite possible he might give Paisley Junior a run for his money in North Antrim. Aye, the silly season continues unabated in the pantomime that is Northern Irish politics. Two local TV journalists/celebrities are being nominated by their parties for the forthcoming elections. There’s nothing really wrong with that per se. Martin Bell fared well in the general election in 1997, although admittedly he had an extremely soft target in Neil Hamilton, along with the sweeping emasculation of the Tories as a whole that year. The main question is, though, is where will all this lead?
 
Will May McFettridge stand in North Belfast and give Dodds a run for his money? Personally I fancy the idea of Roy Walker running in East Belfast. He certainly would have a catchphrase or two, ideal for a political soundbite. As the best known presenter of Catchphrase, he described Paisley Junior, on a 2005 NI Celebrity Christmas Special of the show, as “the poster boy for legalised abortion”. That’s bound to ruffle a few feather and give us all some cat-fighting to chortle over as opposed to the tedious hubris we’re so accustomed to.
 
Over on the mainland, how long do we reckon it’ll be before Katie Price decides to run for election? All she needs to do is determine the constituency with the largest voting base consisting of 18-year-old female Oompa Loompas. A shoe-in I would have thought. To counter-act the inevitable madness of such a nomination, we could have Emma Thompson, running for the Lib Dems, adding a touch of class to proceedings. It would certainly bring back fond memories of the formative male years watching The Tall Guy. Coincidentally, the Lib Dems are in the process of nominating a pornography director as one of their candidates. Conservatives are now fearing a “well-hung” parliament.
 
When the weird cult of celebrity inveigles itself into political life, it’s a sure sign that the future isn’t bright. In northern Ireland it’s plausible to think it’ll not be orange either for much longer. Unless of course Jordan opts for Mid Ulster.
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March 15, 2010 - Posted by | Politics |

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